Before you got the ecstatic feeling upon hearing that elusive “Yes, I do” from your fiancée or from the girl you have always desired to be with, there was a form of courtship – formal or informal – for sure. In today’s society, wherein the dating process is often hastened rather than placed great importance on, both men and women are susceptible of getting played.
How do you exactly get hurt from an informal relationship having no contract yet the feeling is mutual? From the traditional, unfair rejections to your partner’s sudden change of heart and preference, these peeps who utilize mind games have a wide variety of options to get your feelings hurt – when you thought he/she is the one.
To avoid this seemingly degrading phenomenon, you should devise ways to unveil if investing further in your relationship is worth it.
Since marriage is the ultimate pursuit when entering a relationship, here are four signs where you would rather end it up quickly than having your future ravaged.
Beau’s Stressing You out More Than Rejuvenating Your Troubled Mind
This instance may appear too broad since there could be countless, unimaginable ways your partner can frustrate you at times. But in this context, we are putting a premium on your partner’s ability to inspire and make you feel loved than being a complete retard. I have created my own formula to compute for your partner’s level of being supportive or distractive through this simple ratio:
|Times in a week he/she shows glimpse of a spouse material|
|Times in a week he/she elects to make you feel unwanted|
*A result of > 1 indicates a relationship which can be modified for improvements, but a quotient ≤ 1 can be alarming and harmful for you*
Of course, I am in no way trying to play the math geek here. You cannot always keep track of how frequent your boyfriend or girlfriend treats you in a certain way. A perfect relationship, where there are no arguments or hurting, is like a unicorn – it does not exist.
My main argument is this: A healthy, worth-fighting for relationship can be seen on a couple bringing out the best in each other. If your partner drags you down, degrades you, and makes you feel worthless for no justifiable reason, then there could be much worse scenarios underlying (e.g., he’s/she’s mentally ill, have found your replacement, or wants to force you to end it to be guilt-free).
For what it’s worth, you deserve to be happy. You do not deserve someone who punishes you mentally.
Avoids Conversing Deep Things with You and Never Introduces You
Again, we are assessing your relationship’s ability to be on the grandest stage: marriage. If your partner seems to purposely avoid talking about conjugal stuff (i.e., having kids, wedding plans, insurance premiums plans, and moving out), then it could be a bad omen.
Talking about marriage, when you are in the early stages of your relationship, may appear to be too futuristic. But, if your partner is really someone who has hopes of spending the rest of his/her lifetime with you, then that person could at least show genuine intentions of doing so. Wouldn’t it be better to read a reply saying “I am open to that” or the like, rather than getting your question slammed or not having any replies to ponder about?
Another evident sign your current partner is not into it is when the person escapes from one duty that an ideal spouse-to-be never misses out on – introducing you to important people in his/her life.
By not doing so, that person avoids any further emotional damage from having his/her family members or friends attached to you. In short, they are trying to play it safe. When you love genuinely, you take risks and allow the person to get further attached to you by making them acquainted. Needless to say, you only experience that good feeling if that person envisions a future with you, rather than short-term, myopic romance.
You Always Foot the Bill
You are probably thinking that this only applies to men and too shallow of a thinking. If your partner always pushes you to pay the bill for meals or activities you both enjoyed, then it could be another sign of plain taking advantage when you both have jobs. Yes, you could counter by saying that you are doing it for the sheer act of love, but when it gets too burdensome and unreasonable, that is the time when you should think twice.
Your life demands financing on different spectrums – family, personal leisure, religion, etc. – and your partner should know when to take freebies and when to chip in. How did this become a subject of importance? It somehow measures if he/she would stay through the good and bad, especially at times you got nothing to offer.
Does Not Display the Will to Run the Extra Mile
There’s a ton of ways on which you can make your partner feel extra special, even on ways unimaginable. To run the extra mile in relationships does not literally mean to follow your partner (in LDRs), but to express your utmost love, concern, and support towards babe by exhausting all efforts possible. When your partner elects to just chat rather than spending real time with you, given the fact that the place is not hundreds of miles away, you better think again.
Relationships are two-way streets, particularly marriage and family life. There would be times you will be in deep waters, and you need someone who will reach out and do whatever it takes to tell you that everything is going to be fine – when the odds point against your favor. Be with someone who’d play the fool just to see that beaming smile of yours back on your beloved lips.
If your partner prefers keeping it simple, I have no qualms about it. Just be sure that person is capable of making you feel loved when the going gets tough.
All of the above scenarios should not be taken plainly as it is, but be carefully examined in extreme scenarios. Do not get me wrong here, but I am no advocate of giving up easily. All I want you to see is that you are one great, lovable person – if you really are – and you deserve every inch of love this world has to offer.
Pursue the kind of love you desire for your relationship, but smartly know when to succumb to defeat.
Joe Baldwin is a native US resident & professional Article writer for Essaylook.com. He studied English literature and creative writing. He has experience with online web content including blogs, web page content, news, public relations, press releases, and long form sales and industrial presentations.